*o*

I've came to realize so much that my hearts fails to comprehend whether this can be real or not, I cannot understand the whys and the hows but they are there and even If I try not to see then, I come across them so easily. I can't understand, what when wrong, how can things be like this. I see the fall and the path, is right there, it's me that does not want to turn back and look at it. Because I cannot understand how can anyone say such things, act in such manner, I only trust God will make it right, I won't fight back, I never tried to. I've learnt so much about myself that I know understand what they mean when they talk about loving you, for you. I don't love me, I still don't, is hard for me to shake the shades and the layers, It'll take time, commitment, faith. I feel the whole world is pushing me to the edge, just to see me get strong. I won't do this again, I won't hear myself fall. I did it before, I was alone. But now, now I'm not. I'll allow myself to be loved, to be cared, I'll let them in and even if I feel shy, blushed, red. I will do it. I see my friend missing his father, ppl that I love dieing and I see then I should hold on tight and feel proud. Get myself out there and just shine. I can be a firework. I WILL BE a firework. For me, for him, for her. For everyone. Even if this heart hurts so bad, even If I feel my chess sinking, I will face it with a grint. Show must go on, right? I'm sorry I can't be perfect, but I won't allow myself be sorry for been me. I meant no harm, I had no cruel intentions, I'm whotever ppl say, I can take it, I can put up w/this pain. Because I can love. Been adopted does not make me any sorry little bastard, there's no such thing, it makes me blessed, kissed by angel's lips prolly, I've never hide it, I will never do that. I know I cannot go back to the beggining, but I also know that I can always go back home, home in my job, home in my friends, home in my MOM's arms, in my father's smile and the ppl's that I love laughter. I cherish everything I got. I miss the little things, but I will never let go on what matters. P/S: don't let the shadow spoil the view of what's around you.

xxx

Rom.